family enjoying holiday lights | end the holiday overcommitments

End the Overcommitments This Holiday Season!

By Jill Kotsis, 12/13/2018


Sometimes this time of year can seem like a blur, can’t it? One moment it’s the day after Halloween and you’re exasperated because the Christmas decorations are on display at the store (or was that BEFORE Halloween this year?). You blink, and suddenly you’re cooking the Thanksgiving turkey. The next minute, your kids are out of school on Christmas break! There go the plans to do things differently this year—to enjoy the moment, focus on what really matters and SLOW DOWN. Well, maybe next year, right?

Mike and I have been running our family using the Purposeful Family Manager for seven years. Not only do our core values and passions drive the way we live, but our weekly family meetings help us to slow down and enjoy every moment during the holiday season.

Peace on Earth—And in Our Family!

Since early November, we’ve been talking with our kids during our family meetings about a minimalist gifting plan. This came out of our total overwhelm last year with all the excess. Even though we already have a minimalist mentality, it just gets OUT OF CONTROL when you factor in grandparents, aunts, uncles and all those great deals out there you just can’t say no to!

Instead, this year we’re focusing on experiences. Mike and I made a quarterly “Rock” (read: goal) to do two special events individually with each of our older children. With a newborn in the house, they need one-on-one time now more than ever. What better gift is there than that?

We also sat down and thought through the family events and get-togethers that are most important. If we don’t do this, our calendar gets overrun by low-priority commitments we hadn’t planned on. It can feel unnatural to do this in early November, but once the holidays hit, we’re glad we did! When we don’t get ahead of it and we try to do it all, none of it feels fun anymore.

More Presents or More Presence?

Sometimes we forget that we actually have a choice—we have to choose and make space for planning! Our weekly meeting and Quarterly planning sessions help us and our clients to sit back and think about what we really want for our families.

Your core values and passions should be at the root of your plans for the holiday season. It looks different for every family. Maybe your family’s ideal Christmas is going on a ski vacation, because being outdoors and active is core to who your family is. Maybe it’s hosting a traditional four-course seafood dinner with all the trimmings, because that’s what has created the best memories and joy for you. When we stay true to our core values and passions while planning ahead and saying no where necessary, being present becomes possible—and that’s exciting!

Truly Happy Holidays

Take some time this week to reflect with your family about what is most important this holiday season. Talk about what your highest priorities are, and what your family’s core values and passions are. From that, make choices about how you will spend your time.

Find out more about how the Purposeful Family Manager Course can help you get more enjoyment out of your family life. Schedule a free 20-minute discovery call.

Comments 1

  1. So good Jill!! Well written and so so good for families to be considering! I love your take on experiences over all the other low priority distractions. So proud of all that you are doing, you are making a difference!

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