steering wheel with many post-it notes | busyness and priorities

When Everything Is Important, Nothing Is

Written by Mike Kotsis, March 14, 2019


You’re busy, and so is everyone else you know. Busyness has become a popular topic of conversation, as if it were a badge of honor. “Look how many things I have going on right now, I’m so busy!” The busyness snowballs and you don’t even realize it until you’re under the avalanche.

This lifestyle of busyness places high importance on everything that’s going on. But when everything is important, nothing is important. It all becomes a continual white noise of stress and fatigue. Many of us think that’s just life. But what if there were a way to put an end to the madness of being busy—and still achieve what’s important to you?

In the Purposeful Family Manager Course, couples learn how to set Rocks—the 3 to 7 most important priorities for the next 90 days. It’s no exaggeration to say that it is life-changing for you and your spouse to have clarity together on your 3-7 most important priorities. Agreement gives you permission to say NO to things that get in the way or distractions that pull you away from those priorities. So you’re eliminating the busyness while accomplishing what really matters.

Related reading: 7 Signs Your Family Needs an Operating System

The Life-changing Impact of a Rock

I’ll never forget a story that one couple in the PFM Course shared about the impact Rocks has had on their family. Steve and Anne have four children ranging in ages from 8 to 17 years old. Steve and Anne are owners of a couple Montessori schools in Michigan. Steve also has a day job as a successful engineer, and Anne runs their lively household. Last quarter, Steve had a rock to complete three family fun events. They had so much going on in their lives, that they wanted to be intentional about spending quality time together as a family, doing something fun.

They got off to a great start, using their Weekly Meeting to get the first two events on the calendar right away. Then kids’ activities and sport schedules filled up their calendars, and the holidays were fast approaching. The end of the quarter was nearly over, with no time slots left.

Late in the quarter, during one of their Weekly Meetings, Steve and Anne were confronted with the tough issue: There was no time on the calendar—what should they do? They reaffirmed why the Rock was important for their family, and they recommitted to making it one of the most important things to accomplish in the quarter. Doubling down on their commitment led to discovering a creative solution.

That Friday, Steve and Anne showed up at their kids’ schools unannounced and signed them out at lunch time. The whole family jumped in the car and headed downtown Detroit for a fun-filled afternoon together. This was a memorable experience that their four children will remember for the rest of their lives. What a great impact on their family! If they had waited for another “open slot” in their calendar, they might have been waiting a long time or just let it slip and forgotten about it entirely.

Steve attributed their success to having agreed-upon Rocks in writing – so that they were both on the same page with the most important priorities for their family. Without having Rocks, he said, this would never have happened.

Discover How to Keep First Things First

How about your family? Are you and your spouse on the same page with the 3-7 most important priorities over the next 90 days? The PFM Course can get you there. Find out more about the PFM Course—email me to schedule a short discovery call.

How strong is your family? Take the Family Checkup and find out now!